Ikea, if you don’t know, is like the mecca of home furnishings and other things inherently Swedish. We just got one here in Atlanta, making us the greatest city in the southeast. (like we have any competition.) I think I can only buy a house that’s in a city with an Ikea.

Technically, the grand opening of the store is next Wednesday. However, thanks to Maryanne, her newly Ikea-employed friend that has a name which I don’t remember, and a previously insatiable craving for cheap furniture and housewares, we were able to raid the store today before every housewife armed with a credit card south of the Mason-Dixon was able to ransack it.

I came out with nothing. I have no house. Hence, I have nowhere to put the furniture.

Looks like I need to buy a house.