So we went to Two Urban Licks (or using their trendy capitalization, “TWO urban licks”) for their “Sunday Splurge” last night.  It was their first one, I believe, and the food of the evening: lamb.  I figured, I like lamb, and so does L, so the two of us along with 4 other friends made reservations like a month ahead of time for last night.

I’ve never been to Two Urban Licks, but I HAVE been to its older sister restaurant, appropriately named, One Midtown Kitchen (okay fine, “ONE. midtown kitchen”).  Maybe it was because it was many years ago and Richard Blais was on hand in his pre-Top Chef days, but it was quite a delicious dining experience.  Also, the Atlanta restaurant blogosphere in general have given it some favorable words.  And for $15 for all you can eat ($21 for all you can eat AND drink), it was too good of a deal to pass up.

Well, I’m glad I went in with not a lot of expectations.  When we got there, while waiting in line for the valet, I was explaining to L why we’re eating in renovated warehouse in some out of the way abandoned industrial area.  We concluded that it was because restaurants are poor, and so they’ve wound up marketing their cost-savings as something “trendy”.  As soon as I opened my car door to the valet, it started going downhill, just as you would expect for dining in an abandoned warehouse.  It started with them trying to give my reservation away.  We got there a few minutes late, but Aaron had boldly gone in before us to get our table, only to be shot down to discover that our table reserved for 6 got cut down to 4, claiming it was a first-come first-serve basis.  Yeah, that wasn’t going to fly with me and my month-old reservation.  By the time I stormed in there, they magically had a table for 6 for us.  Weird.

The place was packed out.  Once we sat down, the food started coming.  A cast iron dish of hummus, a Mediterranean cucumber salad, some small pita rounds, and a place of smoked lamb and roasted potatoes.  I shared a similar sentiment with my fellow diners when they looked around and was like, “That’s it?”  It’s hard to use the word “splurge” for the equivalent of one entree, one side, and one appetizer.

Regardless, our hunger surpassed any complaint and we dug in.  Quick initial food review:

Cucumber salad – mediocre
Hummus – garlicky, with a hint of peppers
Pita rounds – somewhat stale
Lamb – smoky, but cold
Roasted potatoes – mushy

The all-you-can-drink part of the meal consisted of a cheap Spanish red and a white that I didn’t pay a particular amount of attention to.  Bottles were all open and not full by the time they landed on our tables, which leads me to suspect some discrepancy between what’s on the label and what’s in the bottle.  I personally didn’t have any, but it didn’t seem like I was missing out on much.

Service was also fairly abysmal.  Granted, the server to table ratio could have been better for such a busy night, but our server definitely paid more attention to the table behind us than us.  Automatic gratuity was added on for our table of 6.  That probably had something to do with it.

Successive food refills were delayed and inconsistent.  The second plate of lamb was so raw that JW thought it was an entirely different dish.  When we finally grabbed the attention of our server, she tried to pawn it off as medium rare.  For someone who takes pictures of everything he eats, this meal was so unmemorable that it didn’t really matter.  Besides, I forgot my camera.  But had I brought it, I think I would have taken a picture of “medium rare” raw lamb.  The third plate had maybe 5 pieces of lamb and 48 chunks of mushy potatoes.  The fourth was the most tolerable, as it was a) warmer than room temp, b) actually cooked, and c) we all got at least 1-2 pieces.  Unfortunately, having no other scapegoat, the lamb wound up being overcooked and became an exercise in not cramping up your jaw muscles.

During the course of this meal, the kitchen ran out of pita circles as well as red wine, with a run on the white.  That’s okay, by this point we were legitimating discussing Taco Bell as a finisher.

So that’s that.  There are two more “splurges” scheduled for March – one for chicken and one for seafood.  Caveat emptor.

Maybe their actual order-off-the-menu items are better.  But Two Urban Licks (I will use proper capitalization thankyouverymuch), you did not leave me with a very good impression.  I’d choose your big sister over you, but at the end, it’s still Concentrics Restaurants that gets my money.